|Unable to express how angry I am.
||[May. 30th, 2012|08:31 pm]
Ok. So. I generally think I am a laid back person. I'm sure there are several high maintenance people who believe this of themselves as well, but hopefully I have a bit more self-awareness than that...but I digress. As I said, I generally avoid confrontation like the plague, I never step on people's toes, and I try to make sure everyone is as happy with a situation as is possible. Even if it's something simple like where to get dinner, I always want the person I'm with to get their restaurant choice - stupid stuff like that.|
However, I am getting married. And one thing I have come to realize with a kind of unexpected awe is that my wedding is literally all about Ryan and I. As in, I could freak out and demand all of these strange things and always get my way and people would just say, "Well, she's the bride!" This idea baffles me...but it is also kind of awesome. I don't think I have really used this strange power much - I've been relaxed with my bridesmaids and Ryan has gotten his way on anything that he really chimed in on - but just the thought that on that amazing weekend, I can be a little selfish and it's completely expected is kind of exciting.
I don't want to be a bridezilla or anything, nor do I think I could be, it takes effort to get that upset about nothing, but I do want my wedding to go my way. I can't think of a less self centered way to put it, so there it is.
Anyhow, this has all been building up to the fact that my fucking in-laws are RUINING this blessed feeling of entitlement. Ryan and I shopped around for the rehearsal dinner site. We had to, his family lives 4 hours away at a minimum. We found the perfect spot, it's beautiful, the food is freakin' amazing and the owner is a personal friend who gave us an AMAZING deal. The restaurant is cozy and sweet and the room we would be in is family style and sits about 40 people. The only slightly down side is that it's in Whitehall which is a bit of a haul, but totally doable especially if we all carpool.
Then his family decided that my rehearsal dinner - MY REHEARSAL DINNER - was going to DOUBLE as their fucking family reunion. YUP! My wedding party has to sit and have the traditional meal with 75 FUCKING PEOPLE I HAVE NEVER MET! It is supposed to be an intimate gathering with the people we love supporting Ryan and I. Now, on top of that already ATROCIOUS situation, they want to have a pig roast. Now, on any other occassion, bring it on. I love me some pig. HOWEVER, my mother is shelling out 20 times what they are looking at for cash, and they want to do a fucking pig roast for MY FUCKING REHEARSAL DINNER with 75 FUCKING PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW with POTATO SALAD and FUCKING BAKED BEANS.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
I have never been so inarticulately livid in my LIFE. This makes me so fucking blindingly fucking saying fuck again fucking angry I can't breathe properly.
They are making it abundantly clear that they DON'T give a shit about WHY everyone is getting together, just that they are. My family wants to get together, too. In fact, they rented a pavilion at Bomoseen so that we could have a reunion as well. Oh yeah, they also rented it THE DAY AFTER SO THAT THEY WOULDN'T INTERFERE WITH THE FUCKING REEEESAAASSSOOOONNN EVERYONE IS COMING! It's almost like they are RESPECTING the fact the I'M GETTING FUCKING MARRIED and that's kind of a BIG FUCKING DEAL. Imagine that?
Luckily, Ryan is backing me up on this but he's also a complete pushover with his parents. I understand his dilemma, I do. They are paying so he doesn't want to ask for anything. But it's our weekend. It's our big time. It's the only time I will ever feel this important. My mother has been so incredible and understanding. We have compromised on a few things she insisted upon, but in general, she gives me her opinions and feedback, but I have been allowed to make all of the decisions. Also, the stupid fact is that we can absolutely afford to pay for the rehearsal dinner ourselves - which Ryan is offering to do.
We'll see what ends up happening, and I know I sound like a child who isn't getting her way but if there was ever a time in life where I should be allowed to have a perfect weekend, isn't this it? What gives them the right to make it about them? They are too lazy to organize an actual reunion, so they steal other people's events.
Also, why are they trying to make this happen now? 79 days. That's how much time we have. Ryan and I were shopping for a venue for the rehearsal dinner for months, and suddenly they waddle in, make a few phone calls and change everything. It's absurd.
I'm sorry, this post is so long and I just keep spinning my wheels and going in circles. Please don't think less of me for my outrage, but it is genuine and I don't see it going anywhere... UGH.